


Dive

by BecaAMM



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in the Bunker, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Hiding in Plain Sight, Light Angst, Manananggal, Manananggal (Monster), Monsters, Mutual Pining, Parent Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Songfic, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-03 23:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13351383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecaAMM/pseuds/BecaAMM
Summary: You and Dean… You weren’t a real thing. Sometimes, when you were too drunk and needy, you slept together and pretended it didn’t happen in the morning and that was it; but when you fall pregnant and the only possible father is no other than Dean Winchester, you need to make a hard decision.How hard would it be to hide a pregnancy from the Winchesters while living with them?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Aesthetic from @jayankles on Tumblr.

You squeezed your eyes in annoyance, standing up on wobbly legs as your head pounded.

_Damn, stupid hangover. That was a bad one._

You cast a look on the bed by your side for a moment, seeing Dean asleep as you put on your clothes. It was too early for him or Sam to be up, you would have time to go to your room and pretend nothing happened  _once again._

You and Dean… You weren’t a thing. You were in love with him but that was the only feeling happening. Sometimes when both of you were too drunk you would sleep together – probably the only times in years you were fucked by someone – and the morning after was always the same. You doubted Dean even remembered those nights and you weren’t one to remind him. Every time it happened, you just left and pretended t never happened. He never brought it up anyway, and Sam never noticed.

It was only about two hours later that you got sight of any Winchester on your way to the kitchen with an annoyed face.

“What’s that?” Sam questioned, giving you a look over his shoulder while reading the News Paper.

“I’m never drinking again,” you groaned, serving yourself a cup of coffee.

“You say that every time,” Dean said, standing by the other side of the room.

“You too,” you rolled your eyes. “Why do you look so fresh? You were worse than me last night. I don’t even know how we came home.”

Dean smirked and you looked away, feeling your heart racing inside your chest for a moment.

“Cas,” he looked at the angel as he walked into the kitchen. “Mind helping Y/N?”

Before you could respond, Castiel appeared by your side and touched the centre of your forehead, taking the pain away and making you sigh.

“That’s why I love you, boy,” you sighed. “Thanks, Cas.”

The angel smiled and you sipped on your coffee.

“You said you don’t remember how we got home yesterday?” Dean brought it up again.

“Nope,” you lied. “Everything from that triple whiskey down is a blank screen.”

Sam just chuckled.

“I keep wondering what will be of your liver if you keep doing this,” your tall friend affirmed.

“I’m gonna die anyway,” you shrugged. “Better enjoy life while I can, uh?”

No one answered you. They didn’t really need to.

“So,” Sam cleared his throat. “I got us a case.”

“Bring it in,” Dean walked to his side.

And just like that, the night was forgotten.


	2. Part 1

> _I could fall or I could fly here in your aeroplane_

You rested your forehead on the side of the toilet, keeping your eyes closed while breathing through your mouth.

“Hey,” you heard a knock on the door and just breathed deep once again when Sam opened the door. “Are you okay?”

“Stomach bug,” you groaned from your spot. “ _Stupid sushi_.”

Sam smiled a bit and reached out to you, helping you standing up, closing the toilet and flushing it.

“Didn’t Dean tell you it was a bad idea?” he reminded you, pulling you out of the bathroom and opening the window of the motel room as Dean raised his eyes from the book in front of him.

“Let me guess,” he crossed one leg over the other. “The packed sushi?”

“Yeah,” you groaned, laying on the bed and curling on your side. “I hate you.”

Dean laughed to himself, going back to studying the being you were hunting and Sam sat by his side.

“Maybe you’d like to skip this hunt,” the taller Winchester suggested. “I mean, you look pretty bad. I don’t think I’ve seen you that sick before.”

“I don’t think we’ve ever seen you sick,” Dean corrected his brother. “How long do we know each other? Seven years?”

You shook your head.

“Eight years,” you closed your eyes.

And he was right, you didn’t even get sick. The last time you had even caught a cold was more than a decade earlier and the last time you vomited was when you were a really small kid taking some bitter medicine.

“Just stay in for today,” Sam decided. “It’s an easy deal; we call you if we need any help.”

You would have protested but they were right. Besides that, your back was aching like you’ve never experienced before along with your breasts. You weren’t just sick but in PMS too, and you deserved a day to rest.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Dean said when he caught a glimpse of the worried look on your face. “We’ll be back before you notice.”

They left just an hour later and you fell asleep minutes later. You were tired too, more than usual, but it was probably because of the mix of things happening to you.

You woke up in a rush when you heard the door opening, pointing your gun at whoever had entered but lowered it when you noticed it was just Sam and Dean.

“Hey,” the shorter Winchester smirked. “Feel better?”

You stopped, analysing your own state.

“I guess,” you stood from the bed and your stomach twisted in response. “No.”

You didn’t wait for Dean’s answer and just ran to the bathroom once again. This time, you didn’t actually vomit – there was nothing in your stomach anymore – but the discomfort didn’t change.

“You’re really bad,” Sam noticed from outside. “Maybe we should call Cass.”

“He’s busy,” you argued, standing up and brushing your teeth. “You got any food?”

The door behind you opened and you opened a small smile when you saw Dean standing there.

“Hey,” you muttered.

“Hey,” he touched the middle of your back. “Are you sure you don’t want to get Cass?”

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him. “Don’t worry.”

He sighed and rubbed your skin for a moment.

“Too bad?” he questioned.

“Bad enough,” you groaned. “My back hurts too. Don’t stop.”

He continued rubbing and you closed your eyes.

“I might as well give you a massage this way, sweetheart,” he smirked. “Come on, we got you tea.”

You took a long breath and walked back to the room with him just in time to see Sam landing a plastic cup on the table.

“Peppermint tea,” the tall Winchester said when he noticed you were there. “Are you still feeling bad?”

“I just want to go home,” you confessed, walking to his side and taking the cup of tea. “How was the hunt?”

“Salt and burn,” he pulled stuff from a paperback and a box called your attention. “I got you tampons, your period is about to start, right?”

You nodded dismissively and Dean frowned, looking at his brother.

“Since when do you know about her… hm…” he cleared his throat.  “Her…”

“Period,” Sam interrupted him. “We live together it’s been more than two years, Dean. I do groceries, I buy her tampons. Get over it.”

His brother made an annoyed face and you just rolled your eyes but stopped for a moment, frowning.

Actually, you were  _already_  supposed to be in your period. It was pretty late, to be honest.

When was the last time you had had your period, again?


	3. Part 2

__

> _Maybe I played my cards wrong, just a little bit wrong_

You paced around the bathroom feeling your heart in your throat. In front of you, five pregnancy tests worked their magic, five plastic stupid sticks that would define your future forever.

It was the middle of the night; you couldn’t trust doing this while anyone was awake. Sam or Dean could walk into the bathroom at any moment and you couldn’t even think of what you would do if they showed up right there right then. You wouldn’t be able to explain what was happening.

 _Please, be negative._ – You repeated several times in your head. –  _Please_.  _Please_.

You couldn’t have a kid, not right now. You’ve never even though about having kids, especially in this crazy life you led right now.

And Dean…  Damn, how would you even explain that to Dean? He would freak out. As far as you did know, he didn’t even remember he’d slept with you.

You looked at your phone impatiently, waiting for it to ring. How long did those tests need to be ready anyway?

“Chuck, if you do that to me,” you whispered under your breath. “I swear I’m gonna fucking…”

[[MORE]]

Interrupting your words, your phone rang loudly, making you run and turn it off. The tests were ready.

You closed your eyes and took a breath, something you were probably doing a lot that night.  

“We’re not done here, curly-haired asshole,” you said before walking to the counter and taking the first test.

_Positive._

“It’s a lonely positive. It is probably broke,” you said to yourself. “False positives are common, right? It was only one night.”

Still holding the first test, you moved to the second and stopped frozen on your spot.

Positive.

“Two out of three? Pure luck,” you continued, calming yourself down.

Third test? Positive.

Fourth test? Positive.

Fifth test? Positive.

“Shit,” you cussed, closing your eyes.  Five straight and  _strong_ positive lines.

_That can’t be right._

“You know what? False positive is a thing. My college classmate had a false positive right before she had her period,” you reminded yourself.

Years ago, a bit before becoming a hunter, you’d gotten a bachelor’s degree in communications as first of the class in Washington, DC, and had made some friends there. It had been almost a decade now, to be honest, but you’ve never met any of them after that again. Jenna. That was her name. She was your closest friend back then.

“Well, she had had a miscarriage but… No baby.”

You waited for a moment and then breathed deep. You couldn’t trust the test but there was someone you could trust and would never lie to you or be mistaken.

“Castiel,” you whispered. “Castiel, I need you here.”

One second later, the angel landed by your side, making you jump.

“Yes?” he looked at you.

You closed your eyes for a moment before looking at him.

“I need you to…  _Find a thing_  for me.”

He nodded softly but waited for what you had to say.

“Give me your hand,” you muttered, taking his wrist in both your hands, quickly moving it to over your belly button, where you always saw everyone saying the female uterus was.

Castiel’s expression softened instantly and a smile cracked open on his lips when he glanced down to where his hand touched you.

“Congratulations,” he looked up at your face. “It’s a very healthy boy.”

You let out a laboured breath and instantly fell to your knees, sobbing painfully while falling down.

There was no doubt. You  _were_  pregnant.

“Y/N,” your friend exclaimed. “What is wrong?”

You just shook your head, tears and more tears staining your face and making your whole body shake.

“I’m gonna get…” he motioned but you interrupted what h had to say.

“No!” you said loudly. “You can’t tell Sam and Dean, Cas.”

The angel frowned, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re gonna keep it a secret,” you managed to get on your feet. “You can’t tell anyone, Cas. You can’t tell Dean, you can’t tell Sam and you can’t even think of letting anyone in the world know about it.”

He shook his head slightly.

“Why are you asking me this?”

“They can’t know,” you affirmed. “This kid… They can’t know about this kid. You have to promise me you won’t let them know. You’re the only one I trust to keep this secret.”


	4. Part 3

“Y/N?” Dean called, his eyes on you. “Y/N!”

You jumped in surprise, your eyes snapping to the man in a scare.

“Yes?” you asked, trying to normalise your breath for a moment.

“Are you okay?” he questioned. “You’ve been off for more than a week now, is something going on?”

You just stared at him for a moment. It’d been two weeks since you found out you were actually pregnant, and exactly two months, three weeks and two days since you and Dean had sex, which meant you were about 13 weeks into the pregnancy counting the day of your last period,  _pregnant with a kid you couldn’t have_.

Your baby…  _Dammit, that was a word hard to say._

Your baby was the size of a peach now. The morning sickness was still present and so annoying sometimes you couldn’t even think of eating some foods.

“I’m okay,” you lied and you scrunched your nose when you felt the smell coming around the corner. “Oh my…” you felt your stomach turning.

Before Dean could even ask what was wrong, you were on your way to the closest trash, opening it and vomiting inside it. You lifted your head for a moment, thinking you were feeling better, the smell of the  _trash_  reached you and a new wave of nausea caught you.

“Bad choice,” you noticed to yourself as you felt a pair of hands pulling your hair back.

“Damn, sweetheart,” Dean said behind you and you felt as he pulled you back before giving you an empty plastic back. “You’re still sick? We should have Cas giving you a look.”

If you weren’t queasy and so bad, your heart would be racing inside your chest because of the way he was protectively touching you.

“It’s a stomach bug,” you lied. “I’ll be fine in a few days.”

“Sam, get that Gatorade we got in the store.”

When you finished vomiting, Dean helped you sitting down at the table and sat down in front of you, offering you the drink.

“There you go,” he muttered. “Drink it. It will help keep you hydrated.”

When the other Winchester brother stood by your side, you hissed.

“Sam, you stink,” you groaned. “Get away from me.”

The two men frowned in front of you.

“What do you mean I stink?” Sam questioned, confused, sniffing himself. “I just showered.”

“I didn’t like your new perfume either,” Dean shrugged. “But it doesn’t  _stink.”_

“It’s too strong,” you closed your eyes and rested your head on the table.

In a second, Castiel appeared beside you and you all looked at him. He looked at you for a moment and you could see how he was trying to figure out if you had told the news to the boys or not.

 _Please, don’t say anything, –_ You begged mentally.

“Are you okay?” he questioned.

“Stomach bug,” you closed your eyes. “The boys are overreacting.”

You could hear Dean’ scoff and Castiel’s hand touched your face for a moment, vanishing with any nausea or discomfort you were feeling.

“Better?” he asked in a gentle tone.

“Much. Thank you,” you gave him a smile and sipped on your Gatorade. “But you still stink, Sam.”

The taller Winchester walked back, still running his nose over his sleeves and trying to understand your reaction.

“I need to go,” you stood up, still with the bottle in hand.

“Where?” Dean questioned with a frown.

You stopped for a moment, realising you didn’t really have an answer to his question.

“Uh… There is…” you hesitated. “There is this friend who needs to see me.”

You saw as his lips thinned in response for a single second and he sat back in his chair, creating a distance between the two of you.

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” you affirmed, standing up and putting your hand in your pockets.

You left silently, feeling his eyes on your back as you tried to shrink inside your oversized sweater. Your breasts were a whole cup bigger now and most of your clothes were too tight around them. The last thing you wanted right now was for the Winchesters to notice a change in you so you just hid under larger clothes to try and deceive them.

The way to the doctor’s office was enough to make you queasy again. You were about to see your son for the first time. You were pregnant. You were  _actually_  pregnant.

* * *

“And…” the doctor pressed a button. “Here’s the heart.”

Your breath got caught in your throat for a moment when the heartbeat filled the room.

“Look at that,” she said with a smile and you looked at the screen. Right there, in black and white, you could see the baby moving and apparently having fun inside you and blinked to avoid the tears. “Do you want to know the sex? We can try.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “I just wanted to see him.”

She nodded and, after running an apparently important test just to confirm that your kid was healthy and had to problems – like you already knew – she gave you prescriptions to vitamins you would need to take and all of the stuff you didn’t even think you would need.

“Here is it,” she gave you the papers. “It there anything you would like to ask?”

You shifted in your seat for a moment and took a deep breath.

“I’d like to…” you took a breath, looking down and blinking the tears away again. “I’d like to schedule an abortion if you could help me.”


	5. Part 4

> _I’ve been known to give my all and jumping in harder than 10,000 rocks on the lake_

It was probably past three in the morning and you couldn’t fall asleep. Your eyes seemed glued to the ceiling over your head while your hand rested on the nonexistent protuberance of your stomach. As far as you could remember, the women in your family usually didn’t show bumps until later in the pregnancy – closer to the end of it, to be honest – and you didn’t seem to be different from them.

You’ve only known you were pregnant for a week and it was all too new to you. When your mum – the only parent you’ve ever known – died in a hunt that brought you back into the old family business, you’d just accepted you would never have a family again, at least until the Winchesters and Castiel. They became your family but you were ready to lose them at any moment; you were hunters, casualties were  _normal_ in your lives. But a kid…

Damn, a kid shouldn’t be put through any of that. A kid wasn’t supposed to fear to lose any of his parents to a vampire or Krampus or werewolf or ghost or tulpa… Or whatever your job sent you to. A kid wasn’t supposed to hide and then travel from town to town every couple of weeks; you had lived that it wasn’t good in any way.

You couldn’t have this baby. So why were you already so attached to him and so afraid of letting him go?

He didn’t even have a name, for goodness sake.

You couldn’t have him, it wasn’t right to do so. But you couldn’t let him go too.

“Y/N,” you heard and turned around seeing Castiel standing beside your bed.

“Cas,” you sighed. “I don’t know what to do. I’m… I’m so confused.”

Slowly, the angel moved to your side and you sat on the bed.

“I’ve scheduled an abortion,” you whispered and he just stared at your face. “But… I don’t know if I want to have it done.”

“Why did you schedule it?” he asked softly, sitting by your side.

You hesitated, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

“I can’t have a kid, Cas. We are hunters, it’s dangerous and never stable,” you affirmed. “I don’t want to be responsible for ruining his life.”

He reached out and held your hand, and you just moved until you were resting against his chest.

“Do you think I should go?” you asked swiftly.

“No,” he said honestly. “I think you should tell the father and make this decision together.”

You shook your head.

“He probably doesn’t remember we’ve slept together,” you said bitterly.

He sat straighter.

“Why would he forget?”

You felt tears filling your eyes.

“We were drunk,” you said in a sad murmur. “He probably doesn’t think of me as more than a booty call for when he can’t find anyone to fuck. It’s one-sided love, Cas. That only brings trouble.”

“I’m sure that isn’t true,” he affirmed. “Y/N, you are…”

“It’s Dean,” you finally said. “Dean is the father and I can’t let him know or he will probably kick me out of here and never want to see me again.”


	6. Part 5

> _I could live, I could die_

Castiel sat silently by your side inside the clinic the doctor had scheduled your appointment, exactly 28 hours after you’ve reached her. Your hands were shaking and your eyes glued to the floor while you waited. For the whole night and ever later you and Castiel had talked. He had tried to convince that you should sit with Dean and tell him what was going on, that he wouldn’t be mad at you and would probably be supportive of whatever you decided to do but you weren’t having it.

You loved Dean and the last thing you wanted to do was spoil the fragile relationship you two had.

“Y/L/N, Y/N,” you heard, raising your eyes and looking at the woman standing by the door.

You didn’t stand up or even looked up.

“I can’t do this,” you whispered to Castiel. “Cas… I can’t do this.”

Slowly, he reached out and held your hand.

“Let’s go,” he said softly.

You stood up and walked away, stopping when you stood by the exit door, looking at your side when the angel stopped there.

“What am I gonna do?” you asked, looking at him. “I just walked away.”

“You did,” he nodded. “You walked away.”

You swallowed down the saliva in our month.

“I’m having a kid,” you said, surprised. “Cas… I’m  **having a kid**.”

“You do,” he nodded.

You ran a hand through your hair and took a breath.

“I need a drink,” you affirmed.

“You can’t drink,” he reminded you. “You’re pregnant.”

“I know,” you yelled. “I want to go home.”

In response, Cas touched your hand and snapped the two of you into the bunker, where you just walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, grabbing the first bow of ice cream you saw along with a spoon, sitting at the table.

“Do you really think he won’t hate me?” you asked, stuffing your mouth with a spoonful.

Castiel walked to your side and stood there, waiting for you to look at him.

“Y/N, Dean likes you a lot,” he finally affirmed. “I don’t think there’s anything you could ever do to make him hate you.”

“Who?” you heard and looked behind yourself to see Dean walking into the room.

“No one important,” you lied.

“Is that ice cream?” he questioned, getting himself a spoon and sitting by your side. “Are you okay?”

You frowned and, when glancing up, noticed you two were alone.

“Uh?” you looked back at him.

“You’re not talking to me,” he muttered. “I mean… You’re kinda weird lately, so…”

“Sorry,” you muttered, abandoning your spoon. “There is a lot going on.”

In response, he reached out and put a full spoon of ice cream in his mouth, which dragged your eyes into his sinful pinkish lips. Dammit, if you could only kiss them again and keep the memory of it, knowing that only once he would remember it.  _Only if you could._

“Do I need to beat anyone up?” he questioned softly and you smiled.

That was Dean, the guy who couldn’t talk about his feelings but offered to beat up someone he didn’t even know so it could make you smile.

“Damn, that’s why I love you,” you said under your breath and your eyes widened when you realised you’ve said it out loud.

“Of course you do, sweetheart,” he smiled, taking more ice cream. “But, really, do I?”

You shook your head.

“No, thanks,” you gave him a small smile and felt your own stomach flipping for a moment. “I will manage things with him eventually.”

Honestly, you didn’t actually know who you were talking about. Was it your baby? Was it Dean? Maybe both of them.

Dean raised an eyebrow.

“So there is a  _him,_ ” he pointed. “Do I know  _him?”_

You shook your head and looked back at your ice cream, taking a full spoon.

“I don’t think I want to talk about that yet Dean.”

He nodded silently and took a breath.

“Well, we’re not talking about him,” he reaffirmed. “But I know of something we can do that maybe you’ll help you forgetting about whatever is going on.”

“Uh?” you took the spoon to your lips.

“There is a brand new episode of Doctor Sexy waiting for us in my laptop,” he gave you a small smile. “Are you in?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Do you even need to ask?”

This time, Dean opened a large adorable smile.

“That’s my girl.”


	7. Part 6

> _What’s your history?_

“And I’ve been known to give my all and jumping in harder than,” you sang softly, walking around the kitchen and trying to put the damn recipe of the website together. “ten thousand rocks on the lake.”

You were trying to eat healthier now because of the baby and still trying to hide him from the Winchesters. It wasn’t hard, you were just wearing every single sweater you had and using the colder weather as a justification.

“You’re singing?” Dean exclaimed, making you jump in surprise. “Is that dinner?”

You nodded, blushing, and he walked to your side, laying a hand on your back before smelling around.

“Smells great, make sure to save me some,” he kissed your cheek quickly and walking away.

“You’re not staying?” you frowned.

“Nope. Gonna hit the bar. You don’t wanna come?” he put his jacket on. “I mean, you’re just cutting some carrots and… Uh… Potatoes? We can have takeout.”

You looked at him for a moment, losing your smile for a moment.

“I don’t think I want to go to the bar,” you muttered. “I don’t think I’m in drinking mode.”

He stopped in his tracks.

“Oh,” he stopped. “Are you sick? You never say no to a bar visit.”

You shrugged.

“No,” you said quickly. “Just… The last hangover just taught me really well.”

His face changed in surprise and in several feelings you couldn’t understand and his eyes moved to something behind you for a moment.

“What’s that?” he pointed, walking in its direction.

When you turned around, your heart raced. Your prenatal vitamins. Quickly, you walked there and hid it behind your back.

“Girl vitamins,” you said quickly.

Dean stopped frozen on his tracks two steps before you.

“ _Girl vitamins_?” he repeated and his face once again changed. “Okay, you know what? What the hell is happening?”

You shrunk in your own spot as he ran a hand over his face.

“What is going on?” he repeated. “You said there is a lot going on but you just don’t say what is going on. You’re not drinking, you’re not going out with us anymore, you’ve already sat three hunts now and giving us no explanations and now you’re taking medicine and won’t even let us know what it is about!”

You lost your words for a moment, staring at him in silence while trying to react to what he said.

“Are you sick, is that it?” he questioned.

“No,” you exclaimed. “I’m not sick, Dean. I’m just…” you tried to calm yourself down while tears prickled your eyes. “I’m just trying to be healthier, okay? I’m trying not to have takeout and taking vitamins and making my own dinner and not drinking and… I’m just trying to be healthier because of…”

You stopped frozen, realising how you were about to spill the truth.

“Because?” he insisted.

“Because I was sick,” you lied. “For real. And Cas healed me and I just want to… Just want to try and treat my own body right.”

Dean’s posture changed, this time much calmer and less aggressive.

“How sick?” he muttered.

“Pretty bad,” you looked down. “Just… Don’t be mad at me Dean. I’m just trying to be better.”

He looked away for a moment and then took a breath, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you.

“Sorry,” he muttered and took a step back after a long moment. “So… What did you say was for dinner?”


	8. Part 7

> _The words you say_

“Thank you,” you muttered to the woman in the 24h store, walking back to your car and driving silently back to the bunker.

Every time someone mentioned pregnancy cravings you just didn’t really believe in it but when you woke up at one in the morning craving pie and it didn’t let you sleep, you finally understood what it actually meant. For a whole hour, you twisted and turned in your bed before deciding to get up.

You could barely hold yourself back until you got back to the kitchen and cut a large piece of the said homemade pie and attack it.

“Y/N?” you heard and turned, with your mouth full, to see Dean. “What are you doing awake?”

“Pie,” you muttered, turning back to your piece and looking down to make sure your sweater hide your figure.

[[MORE]]

You had a bump now, a very small bump, but your breasts were now much larger – so much that you needed to buy a new bra one cup larger and already had one even bigger to make sure you would have anything to wear in some weeks.

“Apple pie?” he questioned, stopping behind you. “Where did you get it?”

“That store own by that Korean couple a couple of miles from here,” you cleaned a couple of crumbles from your sweater for a moment. “What are  _you_  doing awake?”

“I heard you,” he cut himself a piece before sitting by your side. “Her pies are the best, right? Cold, hot… Damn,” he moaned, closing his eyes. “So good.”

You smirked, taking another piece. He was right, her pie was amazing.

“Well, don’t you look happy eating it?” you joked.

“As well as you,” he pointed. “So… You woke up in the middle of the night because of a pie?”

You shrugged and Dean chuckled.

“Sweetheart, if I didn’t know you better, I would believe you’re pregnant,” he laughed and your heart stopped.

Damn.

“Shut up,” you forced a laugh to follow his. “No way.”

“I know. But really,” he took a breath. “Too much rabbit food does that to you,” he pointed at the pie. “You can’t be away from the good stuff for too long.”

“I don’t mean to stay away from it forever,” you ate a bit more, chewing and swallowing before continuing talking. “I’m just trying to go a bit less reckless.”

Dean nodded slowly, resting an elbow on the table.

“You look different,” he pointed. “Not in a bad way but… Uh… Different.”

You didn’t look at him. You were plumper, that was a fact, it was impossible not to gain weight when you were trying to keep your baby healthy.

“How different?” you decided to milk the subject.

“Your hair,” he pointed. “It is… Different. Long. Kinda cute,” he said timidly, what made you laugh.

“You think I look cute?” you laughed. “You’re so adorable.”

Dean practically blushed by your side, stuffing his mouth with pie in order to avoid saying anything that could embarrass him even more.

“I don’t think I’ve said that but I’m glad you’re okay,” he said when he was done with his plate and you with yours, making you look at him. “I know you don’t want to talk about whatever you had and had made you sick but I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you.”

You let out a tiny smile. That was what hurt the most for you. Dean loved you, he genuinely loved you. He loved you the same way he loved Jody or Donna and once loved Charlie, the way he would love a sister or a close friend. Not the way he would ever love a woman,  _never_ the way he would ever love a woman.

“It’s okay, Dean,” you reached out and rested a hand on his. “I’m fine now.”

Dean opened a smile and quickly moved closer to you, landing a long kiss on your temple before standing up.

“I’m heading to bed,” he affirmed and you could see how he had a sort of sad look on his face under his smile. “Good night.”

“Good night.”


	9. Part 8

> _Do you have a tendency to lead some people on? Cause I heard you do_

You tried hard to keep your hands away from over your stomach but it was a bit hard. You were feeling the movements of your baby since the morning and couldn’t help but want to drink from every single one of them. You also had a lot more energy than the latest weeks, so much that you were now heading for your first hunt with the boys after insisting on staying behind doing research. For the first time since finding out, you were wearing something that wasn’t a sweater and, to be honest, was the most self-conscious you’ve ever been in your life. Your breasts were almost spilling from your bra and making your fed shirt tighter. Your stomach was bulging just enough for your suit to feel a bit tight and you knew you wouldn’t be able to wear it for more than another month.

You still hadn’t figured out names to your son and the fact you were basically in the middle of your pregnancy and had yet to tell the Winchesters about it wasn’t helpful. To be honest, you were dragging it the best way you could. You weren’t ready to tell them about it and definably not ready to tell  _Dean_ that the kid was his.

“Thank you for your cooperation, ma’am,” you finally said to the older woman you were interrogating. “And thank you for your time.”

“You are welcome, dear,” she smiled. “When your due date?”

You froze in your spot and heard as Dean just stopped by your side.

“I’m sorry?” you questioned, trying to play it off.

“Your due date,” she pointed at your belly. “You look like you’re carrying a boy.”

You swallowed down a gulp of saliva before managing to answer her while Dean watched your interaction.

“I’m not pregnant, ma’am,” you lied. “I’m sorry.”

She blushed in embarrassment while you tried to keep yourself from hiding from hers and Dean’s eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she ran a pale hand over her face. “You just have that look on your face. The look of a pregnant girl.”

“It’s okay,” you gave her a tight smile. “No offence was taken.”

You could feel Dean looking at you with the corner of his eyes the whole walk to the car and stopped to stare at him.

“What?” you finally asked.

“Nothing,” he looked down. “But… You do look kinda different.”

You looked away with an annoyed sigh.

“You look…” he moved his hands in front of his chest, motioning with his palms as if showing big breasts. “They are quite bigger.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’ve gained a few pounds, Dean,” you stared at him. “If that’s what you are trying to imply. Do you want to know how much too or is that enough?”

He stepped back, scared, and you used the time to get in the car, closing the door shut and buckling the seatbelt before he sat by your side.

The drive was silent for the whole way and Dean only said anything when you were at the motel.

“I’m sorry,” he said as soon as you stepped in front of the door to your room. “You still look great, gaining weight haven’t changed that at all. I’m sorry if I sounded pushy or…”

You sighed.

“It’s okay, Dean,” you touched his forearm unconsciously, both to stop and comfort him. “I’m sorry, I overreacted. There is no need to try and make me feel better about my body changing.”

He gave you a tiny smile and a chuckle.

“I meant what I said. You are beautiful, Y/N. Really beautiful. It doesn’t matter if you are skinnier or chubbier with shorter hair or longer hair or…” he continuously listed but stopped himself. “You got it.”

You shook your head.

“Thanks, Dean.”

He licked his lips for a second and you couldn’t help but breath deep, inhaling his natural scent. Dean had always smelt good but with the pregnancy, your sense of smell was stronger, and he was  _addicting._ Sometimes you even dreamed of stealing his flannels just so you can feel him around without him knowing, but have never actually gathered the courage to do so.

Dean’s fingers wrapped around your wrist for a moment, almost as if he didn’t want to let you go, and you couldn’t help but feel yourself closer and closer to him. For one second, you actually imagined he would kiss you right there and then. You didn’t remember how his lips felt like anymore; the drunk night between you two of you was so long ago that your mind couldn’t cling to the details.

“Y/N…” he whispered and his breath touched your skin, warm for a moment.

His lips were dangerously close. If you stood on your tiptoes, you would reach them so damn easily and could…

“Guys?” Sam opened the door and you jumped back, quickly straightening your shirt in order not to look at him or Dean. “Sorry. Did I interrupt anything?”

“No,” you said quickly. “I’m… Uh… I’m gonna take a shower. Excuse me.”

You entered before any of them could say anything and used the door of the bathroom to rest your whole body, trying to breathe normally.

What the fuck had just happened?


	10. Part 9

> _And I’ve been known to give my all and lie awake every day_

You had changed your sleep position. That’s all Dean could think about while laying on the motel bed beside yours. You usually slept facing the ceiling. When you were short on money and you two had to share a bed in a motel, he had learnt that. The way you slept was perfect for him to sleep by your side because he could hold you and just lay his head on your chest. In almost a decade you’ve been casually or frequently hunted together, you’ve never changed the way you slept until now. Right now, you were on your left side, looking as peaceful as ever while he tried to catch any sleep. Your almost-kiss was more than 2 weeks ago and he couldn’t brush it off of his mind. The last time you’ve slept together and he woke up alone played in his head every time he closed his eyes since then, haunting him every night. He didn’t know if that had been real or just a vivid dream but it didn’t matter right now. He just couldn’t stop thinking of it.

After you told him you had been sick, his whole world turned upside down. The perspective of losing you was too much and he couldn’t let it happen. Damn, he loved you, even if you didn’t love him back the way he wanted you to.

“Dean,” you whispered and his eyes moved to your direction quickly. “Dean, just listen…”

You were asleep, he quickly noticed. With a hand resting on your stomach, your face twisted in what he only recognised as fear.

“Please, Dean,” you squeezed your eyes. “Please, just listen… I didn’t mean… I’m sorry, Dean. Please, I’m sorry.”

He got off of the bed so quickly he almost fell, running to your side and taking your gun away from under your pillow before shaking you away.

“Y/N,” he whispered, touching your face. “Y/N, wake up. Wake up.”

You jumped and he stepped back in order to protect himself from the blow you would probably give him with the interruption of your sleep.

“Dean?” you asked groggily. “What are you doing awake?”

“You were having a nightmare,” he sat on your bed and Sam snored from his own bed. “Are you okay?”

The hand on your stomach ran to your face and you dried the sweat off your forehead in a swift motion under his eyes, sitting on the bed and resting your hands on the mattress when dizziness caught you, which made Dean reach out for you.

“Are you okay?”

“Blood flowing to the wrong places, it happens sometimes,” you closed your eyes for a moment, opening them quickly after. ”I’m fine.”

He nodded, still looking at you, and you finally looked back at his face.

“What’s wrong?”

“You were having a nightmare,” he repeated. “And you said my name. You… You asked me to try and listen to you. Do you remember what it was about?”

You shook your head, rubbing your eyes.

“Not a single thing,” you yawned. “Did I wake you up?”

He shook his head.

“I was already awake,” he dismissed your worries. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” you gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry. I’m just fine.”


	11. Part 10

Your baby didn’t have a name yet.

You were showing. That was the first thing you noticed when you woke up in morning. Your stomach was now pointy enough for your sweater to cover you just  _enough_  andwasn’t a surprise; you’ve just reached your 7th-month mark and just  _then_  you were looking mildly pregnant. You were running out of time too. Soon enough, Sam and Dean would start asking questions about a belly they didn’t even know you had and why you were still wearing a sweater when the weather wasn’t even cold anymore. The weight gain card had worked so far but you knew you wouldn’t be able to fool them for much longer. You’ve managed to sneak out to ultrasounds, hid baby clothes in your wardrobe at the bunker and until now your mobility wasn’t enough to affect your hunt but you didn’t know how long it would last. And Dean…

Dean was sending you mixed signals lately. Sometimes, he appeared like he really wanted to be close to you and more than once you almost –  _almost –_ kissed, but the moments were short and he always behaved like they hadn’t happened. You wanted him around with everything you had; there was nothing that thrilled you more than having Dean excited over this kid you were carrying; but at the same time, you couldn’t help but feel queasy when thinking of how bad he could react to the not-so-news. Your biggest fear was that he would just kick you out of the bunker and hate you, or worse: Have Castiel erasing your memory so you wouldn’t remember he existed.

“We’re screwed, baby,” you rested your hand on your stomach, prompting a kick from your overactive son.

Honestly, the baby was a lot like Dean even though he just inside you. He was never quiet, desperate for attention, and just jumped in happiness every time he heard his father saying anything close to you, which made it hard not to touch your stomach of cringe in pain when he hit your ribs.

Your mind was running a hundred miles per second. You couldn’t stay. That lie had gone too far. 

_You needed to leave and figure out how you were going to deal with the consequences._

“Y/N?” Sam knocked on the door of your room, pulling you from your thoughts. “Are you ready?”

Quickly, you pulled your sweater over your bump and turned around to the door.

“Yeah.”

Sam opened the door and smiled gently at you.

“Dean is already waiting in the car.”

You rolled your eyes.

“What are we hunting, again?” you questioned, trying hard not to  _look pregnant_ walking out of your room.

“A manananggal,” explained. “It’s like a vampire or succubus but from the Philippines.”

You frowned.

“Philippines? That one travelled a long way here,” you noticed. “The hunt is here, right?”

He nodded and ran a through his hair.

“Why isn’t it just a vampire, then?”

Sam scratched his forehead for a moment.

“They hunt pregnant women,” he explained, making you stand straight. “So they can eat the fetus.”

You were pretty sure your eyebrows had disappeared in your hairline while he spoke.

“Wait… What?” you exclaimed. “How do we even catch it?”

At the question, Sam flushed red and just  _knew_ it had to do with you.

“All of the pregnant women were in the same pregnant classes,” he explained.  “And… Uh… We need you to pretend you’re pregnant.”

You frowned, shifting on your spot.  

_Oh yeah… Pretend._

“Pretend that I’m pregnant?” you repeated slowly. “Sam…”

“We need to see where it is coming from and how it finds the women it preys on,” he continued. “So… You and Dean are going today to it and maybe try gather some information while I do the same with the people.”

You took a breath. That didn’t sound any good.

Pretend you were pregnant to get a monster that preys on pregnant women  _while actually pregnant._

“I don’t I can do that, Sam,” you decided. “Is there any other way around it?”

He hesitated.

“The only one we could think of.”

You took a long breath.

“Okay… What’s the worst thing that could happen?” you muttered.

Sam gave you a small smile and leant down, picking a paper bag from the floor and opening it just to give you a prosthetic pregnant belly.

“You have five minutes.”

_Shit._


	12. Part 11

You left the fake belly on your bed and put on the only tank top that did fit you enough and Sam was genuinely surprised when his eyes fell on you.

“Wow,” he exclaimed. “That looks so real.”

He reached out, almost touching your enlarged stomach before you hit his hand away.

“Don’t touch it, Sam,” you rolled your eyes. “It’s annoying.”

He frowned at you for a moment and opened a smile, laughing with your words.

“Okay,” he laughed. “Dean is waiting for you.  Good luck.”

The whole way to the car was a silent walk of fear. You couldn’t see your toes and, honestly, were panicking. Hunt a monster that could want to eat your baby? Oh God, what were you getting yourself into?

“Wow,” Dean shouted. “Wow. Wow.”

You were about to enter the car when he left it, walking to your side.

“Wait, wait,” he reached out, grabbing your hand. “That’s… Wow.”

You looked away in embarrassment.

“That looks far too real,” he circled you. “I can’t even see the lines. What did you do?”

You dismissed him with a hand before he tried to touch your bump.

“You don’t wanna know.”

Dean drove the whole time glancing at you while you shifted nervously on your seat.

“We need to make a story,” he pointed. “The baby gender, the name, how far along you are…”

“Boy, doesn’t have a name yet,  7 months,” you ran a hand over your face.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

“You have everything ready,” he gave you a goofy smile. “If I didn’t know the truth I would actually believe that all. But you look a bit small for 7 months, don’t you think?”

You closed your eyes for a moment before turning to him.

“Dean, stop,” you finally said.

He frowned, turning to you with a confused face.

“What? Why?”

“Just stop the fucking car, Dean!” you repeated, this time louder and more hysteric.

When Dean pulled over, you left the car and left to the sidewalk and started pacing around, which prompted him to follow you.

“What’s wrong?” he questioned, looking more and more confused.

“I can’t  do this Dean,” you felt your eyes filling with tears. “I can’t… I can’t do this.”

The man in front of you just couldn’t understand, and you didn’t blame him. There was a fucking lot going on and he didn’t know one single piece of it.

“Why?”

That moment, every single worry you had about Dean finding out and kicking you away or rejecting you was pushed aside; you wouldn’t risk your baby’s life over that.

“Because I’m pregnant,” you finally said. “I’m really pregnant.”

He stopped with wide eyes in front of you and you could see as his mind worked through the information.

“Sweetheart, I think you let the silicone belly work its way into your mind far too quickly.”

You shook your head.

“No, Dean. I didn’t,” you rested a hand on your back, feeling a small pain on it. “I’m really pregnant. I can’t risk my baby’s life in this hunt, you’re gonna need to do that without me.”

Dean nodded slowly, walking away from you for a moment and then back,  _trying_  hard to say anything but completely speechless.

“Get in the car, call Sam and tell him to get someone else to this hunt,” he finally said, clearly keeping himself from losing his calm. “You have a lot to explain.”


	13. Part 12

“Are you okay?” Sam questioned when you sat down on the chair in front of him as Dean paced around the room.

“Back pain,” you muttered. “I’ll be fine.”

“She’s pregnant,” Dean pointed at you. “She’s… Seven months pregnant.”

The taller Winchester’s eye moved from you to his brother and to you again, finally falling on your stomach.

“Wait… What?” he muttered. “Y/N… Is that true?”

You nodded silently.

“Seven months?” he looked back at his brother. “You… Wait… That… You don’t look seven months pregnant.”

“I have too much space inside my torso,” you rolled your eyes. “Look… I’m sorry I didn’t tell, okay? It is very complicated.”

Behind Sam, Dean shook his head.

“No, it’s not,” he interrupted you. “Game of Thrones is complicated. Shower sex? That’s complicated. You pregnant ain’t  **close** to complicated.”

You looked away in shame but he apparently wasn’t done.

“And you were hunting! Do you know how dangerous that is? You could have gotten seriously hurt! What if we went there and that manga-banana thing had decided to go after you?”

“It didn’t happen,” you argued. “Dean, I’m fine!” you shouted and cringed when you felt your back hurt once again.

_Come on, body, that’s not the time to work against me._

“What about the father?” Sam asked gently and your eyes moved from his face to Dean and then back, which made his jaw drop for a split of a second.

“Who is it?” The other Winchester questioned completely unaware of your interaction with his brother.

“I’m gonna leave you two alone,” your friend decided. “Dean… Don’t go so harsh on her, okay? She probably has her reasons.”

The room fell in a long an awkward until Dean walked to your direction and pulled a chair to sit in front of you.

“Does he know?”

You frowned.

“Who?”

“The father,” he muttered. “Does he know you’re pregnant?”

You looked down at your own hands for a moment, the words not being able to leave your lips.

_He needs to know._

“Dean…” you muttered. “You are the father.”

More silence. You couldn’t bring yourself look at him and your face was probably already stained with all the tears you shed. He probably hated you know.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally asked, his voice as low as a whisper.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “You probably hate me now.”

“I don’t hate you.”

You shook your eyes, feeling your whole body shaking as you started to sob.

“Yes, you do,” you argued. “You’re gonna kick me out of here and probably doesn’t even believe this kid is yours because you probably don’t even remember we’ve slept together. I’m gonna be alone and never see you again in my life and my son will never know how it feels to have a father or know the person you are and… And…”

“Y/N, please, look at me,” he moved a hand to lift your chin, and you finally looked at his face.

There was no anger there or regret, just worry and confusion.

“I don’t hate you,” he reaffirmed. “I could never hate you. I… Sweetheart, I can’t take that night out of my head but I always thought you wanted to forget about it.  _I_   _love you._ I don’t even know how long.”

You closed your eyes and he took his hand to your face, caressing your cheek.

“You’re not hurt?” you questioned in a whisper.

“Yeah,” he said like it was obvious. “A lot. I mean… I don’t know what I would do if you’ve gotten hurt, if… if the two of you were in danger because of me and I didn’t even know it. And you didn’t think of… You didn’t trust me to know about that when I needed and hid it from me but…”

Hesitantly, he moved a hand to cover your stomach and touched your belly, looking at you to see if it was okay before actively resting his hand there and jumping back as soon as he felt the light impact.

“Was that…?” he looked at you.

“A kick, yeah,” you managed to chuckle. “He loves your voice.”

Dean opened a smile and cleared his throat before looking up.

“What are your plans?” he muttered. “I mean… Are you…”

“Keeping him?” you interrupted him. “I don’t think I could ever give him away.”

Dean nodded and moved his eyes down again back to where his hand touched you.

“It’s a boy?” he muttered. “Do you have a name yet?”

“Not yet,” you whispered.

He was ready to say something but you twisted your face in pain right at the moment.

“What is it?”

You couldn’t tell. The pain on your back had moved to your whole stomach, enough to make you moan and reach out to hold his wrist.

You waited, curling yourself in pain while tears fell from your eyes. You couldn’t even breathe.  _What was happening?_

The flap of wings brought Castiel to the room and his eyes fell automatically on you.

“She is having the child.”

“I’m only seven months in,” you argued.

“You need to get her into a hospital,” he affirmed. “I can’t help.”

You shook your head. No, no.

_No._

“Come here, sweetheart,” Dean pulled you up, quickly realizing how the chair where you were sat was covered with liquid.

Your water had broken. Cas was right, you were actually  _going into labour_ two months before the expected.

“We need to get you to a hospital,” he repeated, thinking fast while you were frozen in fear.

You couldn’t go into labour now, it was too early.

“Sam,” he shouted. “I need a towel in the car right now. We have no time.”


	14. Part 13

Dean paced around the room impatiently as Sam tried to stay calm and Castiel watched over the two of them.

They didn’t understand why you had just gone into labour right then and there. Was it stress? Was it the confrontation? Was there something wrong with the baby?

“Hey,” Dean stood up when a doctor walked into the waiting room. “Do you have any news about Y/N Y/L/N?”

He stopped and checked the file in his hands for a moment before looking up at him.

“You’re the father?”

“Yeah,” he affirmed eagerly. “What is going on with her? How is the baby?”

The man took a light breath, reading how own file to give him the right information.

“She is into early labour and your baby will be taken to NICU as soon as he is born,” he explained.

“Can I stay with her?” he questioned eagerly.

“Of course, she is in room 37.”

Dean didn’t even thank him; he just walked straight to the room without saying a word to Sam or Cas, finding you lied on the bed and connected to some sort of medicine and looking extremely fragile.

“Hey,” he muttered, sitting on the plastic chair beside your bed. “How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” you muttered. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, though. They got me an epidural.”

He smiled softly, reaching out and holding your hand.

“Did the doctor say anything about the baby?”

Dean sighed.

“He will be taken to NICU as soon as he is born,” he looked at the door. “You’re in early labour.”

“Can Cas do anything about it?” you questioned, making sure the nurse at the other side of the room couldn’t hear you.

He shook his head.

“You’re not sick or injured. The baby just decided he wanted to be born.”

You closed your eyes, wishing you could just bury yourself in the bed, and he rested his head on the mattress for a moment.

“Dean,” you called in a whispered. “I love you. I love you a lot.”

The smile he opened was very small but sincere, kissing your knuckles.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I screwed up a lot I’m really sorry.”

This time, he didn’t answer, and you knew you’d have a lot to work through. Right now, though, it didn’t matter. 

“Can you lay with me?” you asked shyly and he looked at the nurse for a moment, not sure if he was allowed to do so.

“Just be careful with the IV,” he pointed at the  _thing_ connected to your arm.

You two moved slowly, keeping your arm away from him until he was fully laid with you, and you found your place on his chest.

“Why did you think I’d forgotten what had happened?” he questioned in a soft voice.

You closed your eyes. From where you were laid, you could drown in his scent and listen to his heart beating inside his chest.

“You never said anything about it,” you muttered. “I thought you wanted to forget it.”

Slowly, he rubbed your back with the hand around you.

“I thought  _you_  didn’t want to remember it,” he confessed. “You walked away in the morning.”

You let out a sad sigh and in response, Dean gave your forehead a kiss.

“Can we just admit we both thought assumed wrong stuff?” he suggested.

“I’m okay with that,” you muttered.


	15. Part 14

Dean couldn’t count the time he had to wait and watch you suffering through giving birth, how many people entered and examined you and how many times he just wished he could switch places with you. He tried to comfort you but, honestly, he needed to be comforted too. He’d just know he was going to be a father and there was already a threat to his son.

The moment he came out of you, his heart was racing in fear inside his chest and your cheeks were stained with tears. There was no cry. He wasn’t crying.

“Dean, he doesn’t have a name,” you sobbed. “He doesn’t have a name.”

In response, he just squeezed your hand tightly, waiting hopefully.

“Dean,” you repeated.

And then he heard a sound.

“Shh,” he whispered, kissing your knuckles. “Listen.”

There was a very soft whimper sound and then a loud childish cry, and he could fee his heart slower and calmer.

“Can we see him?” he asked urgently. “Can we see the baby?”

A nurse rushed through the room and laid the baby on your chest very carefully. He was tiny, skinny and red. He’d never seen such a tiny baby in his life, although he hadn’t seen that many babies in his life.

“Bobby,” he whispered. “We could call him Bobby.”

You nodded, still sobbing.

Bobby Winchester.

“We need to take him to NICU,” the nurse affirmed, moving the baby away too soon and Dean almost jumped when she did so.

“Dean, he can’t be alone,” you said desperately. “We can’t leave him alone.”

He squeezed your hand, trying to calm you down.

“Cas,” he whispered, knowing the angel would hear him. “Cas, don’t let him be alone. Make Sam go or go with them, I don’t know, but don’t leave him alone.”

“Okay, Y/N,” the doctor stopped above you. “I need you here, okay? The baby will be just fine, everyone is looking after him.”

You nodded weakly.

“Great, girl,” she smiled. “You’ll be with him soon.”

* * *

 Sam was the one asking all of the questions in the NICU. While you were asleep in the hospital room, with Cass watching you, Dean only had eyes to his son.

Bobby. Robert, you later discussed. Robert Winchester.

The place was more crowded than he thought it would be, with a lot of doctors, nurses and whatever kind of people worked there. They already had gotten a room for the two of you close to the hospital and, apparently, you and Dean could spend most of the day with your son there, as long as there was no procedure going on with him.

Right now, in the middle of the night, he had Bobby against his chest under a blanket, the boy asleep and just  _tiny_ in his hands. He was silent – he almost  _never cried,_ if Dean could remember.  He was also very quiet, not moving much and just being there. The nurses had said it was good for him to be in a skin-to-skin contact with a parent and that was why he was there.

Bobby wasn’t as fragile as many babies there. He was just small, and it probably had something to do with Castiel. He could breathe alone, take his milk from a bottle and do whatever babies usually did.

“You’re getting out of here pretty soon, boy,” he affirmed softly. “And I have no idea of what I’m gonna do with you.”

The kid didn’t move just resting against his chest but his presence was just enough for Dean.

“My dad was… He wasn’t the best dad. You’ll understand when you’re older so I didn’t really have anything to base myself on when I was growing up. I will probably be clueless with you. Hell, I’m  _already_  clueless!” he sighed. “I have no idea where I’m getting ourselves into,.”

Chuck helped him. He was diving in deep into that new life.


	16. Epilogue

“Okay, boy,” Dean said to the baby he’d just taken from the special seat in his car. “Get ready to meet your home.”

Bobby had stayed in the NICU for a full month before they let him go and, during that time, you and Dean were basically living in it with him. Sometimes you made shifts there so the other could sleep but, usually, you were there together. That way, you had managed to put your cards on the table and figure out  _where_ you were in a relationship. It wasn’t perfect but you could at least work with the information, and couldn’t complain. It as your fault anyway. 

For the first time since your son’s birth, you were back home and he was beyond excited. With Sam and a bit of Cas’ help, he’d transformed a room in the bunker – the one right beside his and in front of yours  – into a nursery and was thrilled to show it to you.

It had everything a nursery needed to have. A cool crib, a swing, a rocking chair, a CD player, lots and lots of baby clothes, nightlights, a changing table, a bouncy chair, a toy basket so full that it couldn’t fit any more toys and load and loads of diapering supplies in every single size he found. When he was out to pick you up from the hospital, Sam had also installed a smoke and carbon monoxide detector.

“Okay, close your eyes,” Dean instructed when you entered the bunker and Sam quickly ran to your side, resting his hand on your back. “Don’t look.”

“I’m not looking,” you laughed.

For the latest weeks, Dean had been extremely excited about building Bobby’s room and surprising you with it.

“Careful with her, Sam,” he reminded his brother as he guided you along the way. “Okay, stop.”

You waited in silence with your eyes shut until he was by your side.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

You complied and your jaw dropped in surprise. It was beautiful. The whole room was car themed, with every single baby thing you imagined you needed, and ‘Bobby’ was written in black letters under an Impala sketch.

“Dean, it’s beautiful,” you turned to him, making him smile.

“I told you that you could trust me,” he smirked and looked at the kid in his arms. He was chubbier now and his head was covered with thick brown hair and, dammit, somebody killed him if the boy wasn’t his own carbon copy. “Do you like, son? It’s your room.”

You almost laughed at Bobby’s lack of reaction. He was a baby. He didn’t know how to find his own nose.

“He’ll like it in the future,” you assured your now boyfriend.

He just smiled more.

“Okay, poop machine,” he walked to the crib, laying his son there. “You think you can let your mum bath and make take a nap? She kinda needs it.”

You laughed softly.

“Are you saying I smell bad?” you arched him an eyebrow.

“No. I’m saying you smell like the hospital,” he corrected you. “And that I think we’re gonna need every single second of sleep we can get.”

You nodded. He was right. Back at the hospital, you had nurses feeding, bathing and changing your baby, but now you were the ones supposed to do so. It was just the start of the longest journey of your life.

“That means you should sleep too,” you reminded him as he walked away and left the door open. “Did you turn the baby monitor on?”

“Camera and all,” he assured you and stopped, scratching his head awkwardly. “Are you… I mean, are we…”

You waited for his question, noticing how Dean had to take a long breath before saying it.

“Are we in the same room?” he asked in a whisper, surprising you.

“Do you want to share a room?”

“Yes,” he affirmed before you could finish your question. “I… I do.”

In response, you smiled.

“Then yes, Dean. We are in the same room.”

He opened a smile and you used the moment to lay a kiss on his soft plump lips.

“There is still a lot to fix here,” he reminded you and you nodded. "But I’m willing to try. I’m really willing to try.”

You nodded once again. This time you would do things right. 

“We’re really doing this, right? I mean… Is that real? Am I awake?”

“This is as real as it can get,” you reassured him. “We’re really doing this.”

Dean gave you a sweet smile, giving you one more kiss. You were diving into black waters now; you absolutely didn’t know what you were doing in the future or how you would deal with the future. But you know what? You were together, so everything is gonna be just fine.

* * *


End file.
